Family Member Who Meditates T-Shirts

"The key to meditation is learning to stay."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Zenemies.

My God, I need to fart.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Meditation

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"You've been served."

All we have in life is this moment...

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Have you been working out?'