Family Member Who Meditates T-Shirts

"The key to meditation is learning to stay."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Zenemies.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

Meditation

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"You've been served."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

All we have in life is this moment...

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Have you been working out?'