Family Joke Collector Prints

'Have you seen a lady in a red dress without me?'

Whining SUV.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Useless add-ons.

Suffering from Cooties?

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Shark infested custard!

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Cheating Death.

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

My daddy ate my homework

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

"Turn your head and cough."