Family Jam Session Gifts

The No No No's

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Ahhh...'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Hi-yah!"

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Save us!'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"