Family Gossip Prints

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'Botox...'

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Weditorials

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

'Take a letter,'

The Original Gossip Columns

Pie chart of pub conversations

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

'Lessee... He's keepin' my ol' guy at Defense, he's got a corrupt warmonger at State, a tax cheat at Treasury, an' the old Marc Rich pardon guy at Justice.... Nope -- I couldn'ta done a better job myself!'

"Legs up to here!"

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'Just a minute, girls, while I get rid of an eavesdropper.'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Department of Pure Speculation.

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."