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Holiday Visit: Day No. 53,267,598

"Your house is smaller than I remember it."

Little Girl Wants To Dance at the Ball.

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

Polygamists' Picnic

"We have spent the last six New Year's Eves with your mother. Isn't it time for a sabbatical New Year?"

"I see your brother's here for the long weekend."

"Dad's lived with us so long, he's almost become part of the furniture!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."