Family First Champions T-Shirts

"Get off the computer now, Mommy. I want to have a team meeting with Grandma."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

Notoriously losing pieces, the Varns could only have family game night by putting together whatever they could find. 'Checkmate!' 'You sank my Battleship!' 'You didn't say 'UNO'!

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"Albino broccoli mum!"

Kurt's good. Look at his family. His dad and mom really know how the game is played! They're his personal coach and videographer. As I said

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

Puzzle Family

Hiding behind mum

President, first lady and mischievous first lad.

"You're the one who should be 'Time's' man of the year."

"Nothing like taking a few weeks off to spend time with the kids Eh!"

'Doug and I have agreed to stay together until the children and his hedge fund are grown.'

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

"I hate to tell you this, but I just counted the kids and we're missing one."

Zipper complimenting zip child: "Ah, she's a cute as a button!"

Health and Safety.

Mom First Aid

"He needs more exercise. I recommend a team sport like hockey. He'd make a good goalie."

'Your mother can whip up a great meal, kids, while at the same time, suppressing her hopes, dreams and aspirations.'

"My Dad helped me with my homework and my Mom helped my Dad!"

Bently and Son, Inc.

"I could never. Too much pressure."

'Time to take out the tree.'

'Your mother deserves a parade and we're going to give it to her.'

Someday you'll thank me for not carrying you upstream.

"I messed up a couple of quizzes but I didn't think that rose to the level of an 'F'."

Ultimate sibling rivalry.

'Yeah, that used to be my place - my sister bought me out.'

"I cannot let American culture hijack this household! We must stick to the values and traditions that have been handed down through the generations! From now on, when you get off the phone...you have to say 'Ciao!'"

'I don't want a yummy mummy, I like my funny mummy.'

'Draft a press release. ... Say Mr. Buck was not 'yanked'. He, in fact, removed himself from the mound in order to spend more time with his family...'

'He goes back to school on Monday, he goes back to school on Monday...'