Family Dynamics Expert T-Shirts

"So, you're the blind date! Listen, if it doesn't work out with my Lisa, just comeback: she has 27 sisters...."

"Really Mom, you wrapped up the clothes I left on the floor?"

'In my day you had to reach puberty before you could act surly.'

"Why do you decide everything? Why were you born first? Who made that ruling? And where do I file my appeal?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Common Core Family Therapy

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"Act your birth order!"

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'