Family Dinner Devotee Pillows

"Dude, pass the salt."

"Thanksgiving's not so great. Sure, you get a nice turkey dinner, but your mom goes on a diet the next day and takes you with her."

Give Up Your TV

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"You've all been like a company to me."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'