Family Art Gallery Curator T-Shirts

'I take from this flood of faxes that your son is in art class.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Paul Klee

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"I think he was a celebrity."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Misunderstood artist

It's a call from Tate modern.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Painting taking root...

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'Projectile painting.'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I could do that.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Rodin's Browser

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Children's Art Show.

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'