Faithful Faucet Enthusiast T-Shirts

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Water Slide

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Water-works.

"I thought it was deeper here."

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

Water.

"The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber with the second bathroom saved our marriage."

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

'My phone's been tapped!'

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

"Let's go for the four-slot toaster."

Winford gets the latest in refrigerator technology with an ATM ice dispenser.

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"Skip the job description and tell me how clean and well-lighted your bathrooms are!"

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

Aqueduct

"The resort has a pool-bar! Oh goody, book it!"

People in the shower

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

I hate it when they start without us.

Two water wells with buckets one marked 'Hot' and 'Cold'

'Well, stop watching him if it makes you stress over flood insurance.'

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'