Faith Family Builder T-Shirts

Father

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Tiny Visions

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Drive-thru Church

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'