Fairy Tale Reviser Mugs

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Mad Hatter's tea party.

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

'...'Throw down my hair'? In this condition?'

"This isn't how the story went at all."

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Walrus and Carpenter.

"My client would like to plead 'not guilty' to all three charges of damage to private property."

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

Little Red Riding Hood

"What if the dish and the spoon run away together?" "Not bad, Doug, not bad at all." "And a crockpot tries to lure the dish away with cash and loads of jewels!" "Come on, Rita! That's been done to death. Too derivative."

Fairy Tale Gone Wrong

'I have scarcely closed my eyes, sire! Heaven know what's in this bed!'

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

"I huffed and I puffed and I blew their house down, and now my head's hot and I ache all over."

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

William Tell (alternate)

"I'll come back when you ditch the eighties-hair, Rapunzel.

If it were today. . .

Hansel and Gretel, now microwavable.

Disney Princess 1950s - 3000

Alice Through The Looking Glass - The Red King and the Red Queen.

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

"Three pizzas: One too hot, one too cold, and one just right."

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

'Typical media bias. First they label the wolf 'the big BAD wolf' then they only give Little Red Riding Hood's point of view.'

Little Dutch boy prevents sand from falling in hour glass.

'This is Mr Rumpelstiltskin. His people are on that 'Straw to gold' project.'