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King Madras

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

I quilt therefore I am

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Surprise!"

Fittd shēt

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The knights of the round accent table"

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"