Fabric Aficionado Pillows

"You'll have to bear with me. I just went from seersucker to tweed."

'You poor chump! You let them talk you into polyester pants!'

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

Suppliers of fine pin-stripe

'It's the latest weave - comes off in the hand.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

I quilt therefore I am

Dressed for Success!

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Ladies of the Creation! - No. VIII - Mary protecting the weaker sex

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

A Macaroni in 1772

New Suit.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Lovely dovetail."

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Out of kilter.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

Square Cut