Eye-rolling Experts Pillows

'For God's sake Mum - Stop rolling your eyes all the time.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Trustworthy Authority.

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

"Congratulations, gentlemen - we have achieved failure."

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"Your favourite and my favourite...whose name escapes me at the moment..."

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

"Billy's cheating, Susan is lying, Dave, no, that's Gary, no, Bob. Bob's stealing?"

Corned Turtle on a Kaiser

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Boxer with glasses.

'Behind every great teacher is a class rolling its eyes.'

"Nice of you to bring wine, but we don't drink anything that sells for under a dollar a gallon."

How to appear more interesting.

Good News, You have perfect 20 vision!

'I'm going to take a shower - No peeking, now.'

"That's odd! I can't find my new dauber anywhere!"

"I contributed a lot to charity when I thought I was going to die."

"They don't get it when I wag my tail ironically."

"Well, your posture needs work, but I can't fault you for eye-contact."

'I can't see a damn thing -- can you tell me what I've got?'

Alien Eye Chart,

"My eyes are sore. I have to start limiting rolling my eyes every time my parents tell me to do something."

"Well Mr Sprake - you're definitely colour blind..."