Eye Health Buff T-Shirts

'Just don't schedule so many lectures in one day, Professor, and the eye glaze should go away.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"How many letters can you read?"

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

The Graphic Designers EYE EXAM

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Optician and the PI.

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'