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"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"I AM at my usual position."

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Footballers - Kevin Keagan

"This is my stop, Phil, you'll be C.E.O. till Sixty-third Street."

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

Martin Jol

Waddle and Don't Waddle.

'Never say never.'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

"Well captain, who has right of way in a case like this?"

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."

'When he plays, our opponents hear footsteps.'

'Remember, we're in red and yellow - all the rest are bad guys...'

"In order to save time and money on coffee and bathroom breaks, I've streamlined the process..."

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

The NFL is forced to add a new penalty to the rule book.

Nigel Adkins