Experiencing A Mishap Prints

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'Fine. And you?'

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

Mistaken identity.

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

DIY expert.

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'I can't turn it off.'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

spellchecker

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Broken hospital sign.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'