Expense Account Humorist T-Shirts

'I'll call my sales manager and see if it's OK for you to have dessert.'

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget reaction.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

Budget Opticians.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

"The fifty-five-gallon drum is completely filled with pennies, sir. Should it be taken to the bank?"

Dollar sign balloon.

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

'Bascombe has put all his mutual fund assets into a blind trust, but it was set up so well he can't even locate it.'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

Computer that runs on money.

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

From "The Letters Of Jeffrey Flanders and Tip-Top Utility"

He sometimes wondered if his new trophy wife was just after his money. (Towels read 'kin' and 'next of kin').

Gas prices

'I'm leaving you because you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.'

"I don't mean to minimize your problems. That's not how I make my dough."

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