Expecting Humorist T-Shirts

'Of course you're pregnant! You wouldn't be carrying a baby if you weren't!'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Break Water'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'I sentence you to hard labor.'

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

"Oh, oh!!"

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'