Expecting A Baby Prints

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'That IS her care pathway.'

'Baby on board.'

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

Too posh to push - Cesarean Clinic.

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man.

"So! When's the big day?"

"Please, don't hurt me—I have a wife, and I'm gradually becoming O.K. with the possibility of having children!"

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Break Water'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

You have to do WHAT to get that kid out of there?

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

Obstetrics.

A Bun in the Oven.

Doctor delivers sonogram results, which include the baby's sex, his claustrophobia, his taste for trashy women...'

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

"Gone to ante natal class.There's a bun in the oven."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

'Welcome to pre-natal kindergarten. First we'll review your pre-born's cirriculum and then I'll assign womb numbers.'

"That reminds me - we need to start saving for college."

'Is it a boy or a girl? We're going to wait for it to grow up and then decide for itself.'

'My mom's pregnant. At first I was worried about the competition until I remembered that I was the incumbent.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Nurse forgets her husband's birthday'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

'The tests show it's a boy.. we can't tell whether he'll vote Republican or not.'

'I was going to ask my parents for a baby brother but I sure won't now.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'