Expectation Vs Reality Fan Prints

"The promised land isn't quite like I pictured it."

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

"Me, after years of begging, I was finally allowed into the house yesterday. You know what, it was kind of a letdown..."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Real Life/Surreal Life

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Police film evidence

A couple decides what to watch.

Prepare yourself, America. Dancing with the Stars is poised to present a new 12-week competition. And you'll never guess who's dancing now! Listen to the passion and fight in our newest celebrity dancer

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

'Scrub that previous message Houston. There is no, I repeat no intelligent life on Mars.'

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'

Election Report. The political debates and huge ratings. "Dancing Around the Issues" topped "Dancing with the Stars"!

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would make a great reality show."

Man sees capitol building: 'Truth, Justice, Reality TV'

As Seen On TV

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

After finishing his two year residency at Drai's Beach club, in Las Vegas, D.J. Pauly D decides to return to his first love theatre.

The Mom quiz show

'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'

'OK, you've got your problems. Now, you can keep them and walk away - or trade them with whoever's behind door number one, two or three.'

The Party of Lincoln

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

Michael Grade is right...ITV needs more real writers which is why we want you to commission 'celebrity novelists get me out of here'.

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

'We need more cake shows!'

'Take us to your - y'know whasisname - that chap who came runner up in 'Pop Idol''

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

New from NBC: 'World's Biggest Feline Loser.'