Existential Thinker T-Shirts

'Thank you for pretending you understand Kierkegaard.'

'Who was first?'

'Mike! How the heck are you?' - 'The usual, Pete! Spiritually and emotionally empty, my personal life is a shambles, and I'm near-suicidal!

"Take some identification with you in case you die."

"Well, that's done!"

The Love Song Of J. Alfred Crew

Man falling through sand timer.

"Sometimes I think, why am I here? What's the point?"

'It's not that I'm afraid of dying, Doctor... It's just that I don't want to be there when it happens!'

Nothing Good Ahead

"Godot says, 'Running late, frowny face, winky face.' "

"Look if I have to explain the meaning of existence, then it isn't funny."

'I guess it's just one of those days.'

'The Existential Files.'

"Okay, now what?"

Kafka, Age Ten

"Of course there is. Don't forget the drippy thing."

The beginning is near.

"Oh God, I'm almost 30..."

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

"We've spent out while lives going in circles."

'The End is Near' and 'There's No End In Sight.'

Life Coach/Death Coach.

Extreme Sisyphus

'Do you ever get that feeling that you're part of some gigantic cosmic jigsaw puzzle.'

"...I knew we should have turned left at the last off ramp!"

"If we hurry, you might still make this Sunday's 'Times' obits."

"Your present state is caused by a hypersensitivity to existentialist thought. I'm recommending mega-doses of pragmatism as a therapeutic counteractive."

"Can you describe these countless wasted hours that ultimately make up the bulk of your life?"

Failure or Disaster

Two seconds after the moment you reach adulthood.

'Suddenly it was apparent where Jack was headed.'

Ran out of time.

Waiting For Godot And The Cable Guy

"It's only a game."