Executive With A Funny Bone Prints

Emergency Instructions

"He likes it."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Our Board of Directors are really very fickle!'

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'I appreciate recognition...but pats on the head are demeaning.'

Cat Boss

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

"You must understand that my total confidence in this plan of yours depends strongly on one's definition of the words 'total' and 'confidence'."

'I'm just finishing denying the rumors of our impending bankruptcy to the press. Got those bankruptcy papers ready?'

I Have A Closed Mind.

"Profits must be down."

'...and that's when I inherited the company. How about you? Who died and made you boss?'

"Not only is it not in speed dial, I don't even know Lee Iacocca's phone number."

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

"I'm sorry about your divorce, but you can't nest in the storeroom."

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

'That, sir - that dismissive little hand wave? It's way too Enron.'

'May I play through please?'

"You don't have coffee breath. And you call yourself a team player!"

'No, insanely funny is not a plea!'