Executive Perks T-Shirts

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'