Executive Decision Critic Gifts

'Yes, I'm an honoured CEO. There's my 'Worst Bankruptcy With The Most Ruined Small Investors' award.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"Quick, let's make the decision before everyone else shows up!"

Traffic Management Strategic Group

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

Waste Management.

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled: Stay The Course and Cut And Run.

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

"Anyone who opposes my proposal lift an arm!"

Illogic Tree

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

The Buck Stops Here.

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'