Execution Satire Admirer Pillows

A Walnut about to be executed by Nutcracker

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

Lesser known greek gods,

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Czarcasm

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"A haand gel...!?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Hot cross buns

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

A Gated Community.

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'

Shakespearean Celebrity Endorsements

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

Football heads...