Excuse Note Enthusiast Prints

'Why can't I see the type of imagination you put in this excuse note in your school reports?'

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

My other cello is a Stradivari

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

Will eat your homework for $.

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"I compose using post it notes!"

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

Adult Absence Notes.

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'I think he is a composer.'

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

"Sorry I'm late. I took the stairs."

"My dad ate my homework."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

Remorse code

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

Conductor Smokes Musical Notes.

"I put catnip on my homework. I think he'll eat it!"

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

The Downside Of Being Superman, The Man Of Steel

"I have bad knees."

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'