Exclusive Events Gifts

Posh store has sign: When Flaunting Is Not Enough.

La Table

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

Carpet

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

"...We don't trust any restaurant that has room for us."

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

This club is for members only

"You. You. And you."

Please wait to be vetted

Fish pedicures - a woman with her feet in goldfish bowls, with the fish complaining about what they have to eat since the beauty craze took off.

Dinosaur Extinction, If your name's not down...

"Do you have a reservation?"

"Actually, I was hoping you'd have rolled out the red carpet just a little bit sooner!"

"It costs how much to join?"

"This is a private club. Are you a Mamba ?"

'Hey! This club is for members only!'

"Mr. Lee's Chinese Palace, one of the city's best-kept secrets."

Garrick club. Men's men only.

'Order 50,000 gift bags. We're gonna do Beverly Hills!'

Club Heaven.

"I often mistake a twenty pound note for a membership card."

Social Exclusive Unit.

"Tia Carmen, can I join your Wise Latina League?"

"Now you tell me I'm the only member?"

"Your request to join is being reviewed by the group moderator!"

"So long, Bill. This is my club. You can't come in."

Good news, I can make you a member of our waiting list!