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"Bartleson, are we cronies yet?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Baby rocks!

Imagine

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

You are here.

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

Chemistry Improv Theater

"Who are These People?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"You want proof? There's your proof."

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

New York Gondolier

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

'To hell with the rules.'

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

"They were apparently more advanced than we thought."

'I know I told you this wouldn't hurt, but, if it does, raise your trunk or something.'

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

Man talking to a tree.

Now, will someone pass me a whale?

'Or we can go with trial-and-error.'

'Try not to watch the clock. It only makes the day go slower.'

The Water Diviner

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.