Excellent Report Card Pillows

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'