Ex Drama Escapist T-Shirts

'Our line is dead. Sometimes my old boyfriend goes off his medication.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

Anywhere but here

Last Chance For Reality

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

A woman reads a romance novel.

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'There she is, dreaming about Zorro again.'

But doc, my tenuous grasp of reality is what gets me through the day!

"Not again!"

Zoo Employees

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"You'll catch her if you're quick. She made a dash for the back door."

'Where are all these alien abductors when you need them?'

'Oh dear... it's going to be a very long year and a day...'

Husband building a wall around his wife on the beach.

American Idle

James Fenimore Cooper