Everyday Crusaders Pillows

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Oil shock.

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

Water shortage and waste due to leaks

The Jerck Manual

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

"I told Mr Simmons there's something I wanted to get off my chest - his hands."

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

"Tough group."

"Run! There's a shooter!" " Not another nazi!"

New PFI project - benefitting the local community. '...They own shares in the company that built it'

Toad roadkill.

"George, I can't help thinking you lack focus!"

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

Water carriers/bearers.

Super Six

'Got it!'

"My vegan desserts are all-natural, although I often suspect that they're artificially savored."

Under the car park.

GOP: 'The Lord helps those who pay Congress to help themselves!'

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

Nicola Sturgeon

Causally dresses interviewee

'Welcome to the Road Rage Restuarant! What the @#&$ do you want?' 'Burger, fries, something heavily caffeinated, and step on it!'

Folding Bike.

Open At Other End.

'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"You're a cyber bully."

'I don't think there's much we can do about it - he's on the planning committee.'