Event Orchestration Aficionado T-Shirts

"Does wedding planning have to be this stressful?"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Face painting.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Face painting by numbers.

'Man, times have changed.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Occupational Hazards.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Wedding Fayre

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Extra Long-jump

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

The Aisle

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"You owe me £50. I told you that he didn't have the nerve not to turn up!"