Euphemism Expert Prints

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, but I'll use a lot of euphemisms!'

"You're gonna love this place."

Torturing the English Language

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Reading my Critics

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

Dog in casino.

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"Great coffee, Carole."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

A Poem about Sand

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

'And in conclusion.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'