Etiquette Teacher Mugs

Vicar and four young ladies

Not very ladylike. Please help.

'That's Ludwig II, not Ludwig JUNIOR!'

'Mommy! Larry's making faces again!'

'Hold your hand in front of your mouth when you yawn.' - 'What, and take a chance of getting bitten.'

Although Frankenstein turned out to be a homicidal maniac, he did surprisingly well in finishing school.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Hipsters"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Hey, you two! What did I say about sharing?!"

Awkward First Dates

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."