Ethical Ponder Pillows

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"Call me?"

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Water company bonus.

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

The Price of Freedom

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

'Then, as you can see, we give them some multiple choice tests.'

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

"This report is replete with errors, distortions and downright lies, yet I find its moral message quite uplifting."

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

Surgical Self-Service

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

"For you young scientists who hope to do public service work someday, the following six experiments, showing the basic ideas behind chemical warfare...."

"I love it, the chief loves it, the client loves it, but the gods don't love it."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'I hope you don't mind. To save time and money, we've sworn in the firing squad as the jury.'

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

'That's it, in a nutshell.'

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."