Ethical Business Advocate Pillows

'That, sir - that dismissive little hand wave? It's way too Enron.'

"You know what I think, folks? Improving technology isn't important. Increased profits aren't important. What's important is to be warm, decent human beings."

"Overcharging, perhaps; but collusion to gouge, Senator? Never!

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

Free-range C.E.O.s

'This is one of the drawbacks to leading by example.'

'I've discovered a way to increase profits on our pills. More cotton wool in the bottles.'

'Miss Webley, dump all our bailout funds into my offshore account, but make it look like an accident.'

Chemicals: Ethics is our number '7' concern.

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Slavery Reparations

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Anonymous Donations

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits