Eternal Youth Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

It doesn't reflect poorly on us. We're going gangbusters. We're vibrant. And spicy, like jalapenos. We are fresh as the Kennedys in 1950s springtime!! Wrinkle-free!! Let's jump rope. I would most certainly enjoy hang gliding. What's going on with the geezers? The LK Effect. What? Ever since Larry King announced his retirement, they've been overcompensating. But first a nap. With vigor. I'll retire when they pull the microphone from my dead ... zzzzz.

Forever 31: Hair Implants & Egg Freezing

'Yes, that's our founder. He posed for that on his 80th birthday.'

"I'm not actually 40 this year but that's the birthday I celebrate every year."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Elderly People

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"They grow up so slow."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'