Equine Entertainer T-Shirts

'Horse Play' 'We never mastered the choreography part of freestyle dressage, but we still wanted to have a role in the competition.'

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

'I see you bit the groom whilst she was clipping you again!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'Now cut that out!'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

The Enemy

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

Pottery Slam

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

A Few Common Ailments

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

'Just jam one of these pills as far down his throat as you can, 3 times a day.'

Horse accidents

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

The ocean is no place for a star.

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"