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'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand!'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Cut!

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Blue Dress and Feather

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

A little bird told me...

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Illustrations of Shakespeare.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

The Unhappy King

The wine-shop

Hamlet in the craft shop.

I Pagliacci

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Speech

Oedipus

Proposal

"Of course I discovered America... My marketing team said so."

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

'Want to make some big money, William? A publisher wants you to write a page-turner.'

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Illustration for 'The Notting Hill Mystery'. (woman pulled out of the river).