Epiphany Enthusiasts Pillows

I sold my Meta stock. Already? I had an epiphany: They don't make anything. Their profits depend on my generation thinking it's cool to post on their sites. And you realized your generation is fickle and has no attention span. I signed up for Google+ this morning. then I got bored of that and signed up for Google-.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"Time for bed, guys."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Bonk!"

His last words were, "Stop correcting my grammar!" Here Lays Fred P. Smink.

Truth

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Regifts of the Magi

"We're here, Harry."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Demonization: Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes

Man falls off perch

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"But if I say I'm in denial then, by definition, I'm not in denial."

The Children's Hospital

Inspiration

'Turns out, M.C.Escher was the brains behind the animal smuggling scam.'

"I've just come back from a break in Tuscany...I was surrounded by the beauty of nature in the raw...it really made me question what I was doing with my life. I've got the money, the big car and grand house, but is that really enough? Isn't there more?"

"You have to fly me up there! I'm the only one who can help Godzilla with his form!"

Jim Evans - Father, husband and darn good eatin'.

"I believe you were complaining about your cold this morning."

'I thought you were supposed to do no harm!'

'Are you sure this is just a mirage we're crawling through?'

Homer

'The meaning of life? 'Life' boils down into three categories...you are born...you live awhile....you then die.'