Entertainer Pillows

'Hi ? I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you.'

Touch Gig

'Your serves are great. Ground strokes, superb. It's your foot faults that are killing you.'

"Thank you. You've been a great audience."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"What's the next best medicine?"

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

'This next song's about spreading risk in a volatile market by diversification.'

'Maybe you should wear a helmet, in case, you know, my math is off.'

Why it's not always a good idea to wear your work uniform to court...

Caricature of Bruce Forsythe

'I got downsized after the king subscribed to that online joke service.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

'A clown? What makes you think you could be a clown?'

Ramon was a polished performer, but this was madness. . . A square peg in a round hole, unassisted, and blindfolded!!

Pub Quiz: 'Question one. How many childish arguments are we going to have tonight?'

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

'This next song is about setting boundaries, and how now I wish I had.'

"You think this is funny - I'm 38, I live with my mother and I've got a college degree."

'I've written a love song about big dividend - playing stocks.'

"The Chairman will be on shortly, I'm just the warm-up guy."

Hollywood Talent: 'Sorry, kid, but there's a dog in China who will bark 'Jingle bells' for a third what we pay you!'

'I think we could understand this better if it were a pie chart.'

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Please do not try this at home, unless you have a strong alibi and a brilliant lawyer.'

'Shoot, son, if you work real hard and stick to it, I reckon you can grow up to impersonate anyone you want.'

Normally she wouldn't say boo to a goose!

'Then...we went back and identified moments that cried out for a song.'

'I'm worried: He still can't balance a ball on his nose...'

"I feel like I'm having some credibility issues."