Entering The Property Market Mugs

Estate Agents

'A hundred thousand would not buy this house.' 'I don't blame them.'

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

People in a nest: 'What housing shortage?'

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'This is great, I'll take it.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I've invested in property..."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

Igloo sales

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

'They're playing house.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

Dog Realtor

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

Shoe house.

Evergreen Estates