Entering Professional Sports Pillows

'It's exciting and you make a lot of money, but if you don't win, they flush you down the toilet. Welcome to the pros, kid.'

Football Fans

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Perils of the double play.

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Currently Boston

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

Table tennis.

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'Here we go again...'

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

Future Wrestler

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Olympics create interest in curling.

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Professional football.

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."