Enrolling In Fitness Classes T-Shirts

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Exercise Class

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"We're exclusively delts."

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

'Fitness guru.'

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

Exercise Bars

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Personal Potty Trainer

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Zumba

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."