Enlightenment Thinker Pillows

Voltaire

Voltaire

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Showoff"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"All the celebrities come here."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"You've been served."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'