Enlightened Soul Pillows

While I can't tell you how marc Rich got so rich, I can't tell you that money didn't necessarily make him happy

Social distancing

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"Are you OK hun?"

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

Dolores is so avant garde.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Think outside the seed.'

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

"Harry, you're beginning to go to seed!"

"It's always a good time to have a good time!"

PastFuture.

"We're all loonies on the moon, you know."

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

"Why are we here?"

Man balancing a glass of wine on his head.

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

'Constant euphoria is bound to cause some issues.'

'I'm saying I want to share your pain you selfish bastard.'

Dancing Under The Air Conditioner

Life is just four letters...

"It's OK, girl. I get tired, too."

"You're sad about the wrong things, Albert."

Jim was busy detoxing his negative thinking patterns.