Enjoys Satire Mugs

'You have a choice. An ultra-expensive medication that may cure you but has the side-effect of bankruptcy, OR a low-priced medication with a side-effect of a near-death experience.'

'Sorry, you're not suitable for the post of Assistant Beggar.'

Eddy passes the tax officials exam.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

The Berlin Peace Movement

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Family Butcher.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Knights of the Round Whatever

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

Art Vandalism

John Banville

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

Might Versus Right.

'Never to be seen again!"

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

Suppliers of fine pin-stripe

"New law, Diogenes. We're confiscating your barrel."

An Angel with a Devil's Shadow

"They've been hard times, Al, but they've been fun times, too."

'Actually, sir, almost everything is on the restricted shelf.'

'At this price, I only have to sell one bottle to have a good year.'