Engaged To Humor Mugs

'Will you marry me and help bear my burden?'

'You lifted your head.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Various Traps.

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

Stock Market Research and Analysis

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"You know very well what fish!"

My Folks, dressed up like Eskimos

"If you'll have me, I'd like to be your blind spot."

'He did it for us.'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Dating Rule #1. Repeat after me: I need some space. I need some space. Got it. Good. Make sure you tell that to Laurel all the time. But

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

Lard Lite - Marketing

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

No, when I said "Who has Van Gogh's ear?" I was asking whose advice he follows.

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

Menace.

'I'll need four character references.'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'